The following is an excerpt from Peter Crouch's forthcoming autobiography 'Tall Tales'.
As an integral part of the England team no one felt worse after our defeat to Croatia than me. Especially as Steve McLaren got so much stick for it. The whole umbrella thing was my fault, being so much taller than the rest of the squad I was the first to feel the raindrops. "Better put your brolly up, boss" I said. I was only having a laugh.
When we went out I thought I better concentrate on my Liverpool career. Unfortunately Rafa the gaffer doesn't like me. Partly because I call him Rafa the Gaffer rather than Mr. Benitez like the other lads. Also he hasn't spoken to me since I did my robot dance, apparently he had a nephew who lost an eye to a rogue robot. I was only having a laugh.
So it looks like I'll be plying my trade elsewhere next year. Again I think I have to take the blame for that too. I spoke to Mr Parry and he said "I think you're worth twice your height in millions Peter." So I said "Blimey, I'd take half that, I'm all gangly awkwardness and no end product." I mean, come on, I was only having a laugh.
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