Hello, I'm "Honest" Wayne, and I sell cars. Now I know what you're thinking, 'he's a scouser' but despite this I am honest really. I live in Manchester now so it's alright.

Aaaaah! What was that was it a bomb? Quick everyone on the floor! Sorry, sorry false alarm. God, I'm embarrassed now. I'm just a bit y'know nervous.

Anyway, you're probably here to buy one of my cars. Why don't you have a look around see if anything takes your fancy. I've got a 60 year old Fiat out there. Looks like an old banger but she's a beautiful ride.

Do you fancy a cup of tea? I'll pop the kettle on. Aaaaaaargh! I tripped over the table leg. You saw it didn't you? It's leg was jutting out and tripped me up. Yeah I know it's now four foot away Ii must've pushed it when I tripped.

Anyway, what are you looking for? Just a cheap run around? Well I've got just the thing. It's an M reg Nissan Micra. Yours for £8000 and I'll chuck in the spare wheel for free. Hey! Where are you going? Come back! I'm honest, me.

Aaaaargh! I've fallen over again. I swear it must have been an earthquake or something. Honest.