Pascal Cygan was born in Lens in France in 1974 and signed for Arsenal in 2002. He came with high expectations having been voted the best defender in the French league the season before. These hopes were soon dashed.
Arsenal have a long history of fine centre backs. Pascal Cygan however is not part of it. Little is known of Cygan's early life other than he was the son of a fashion photographer. This meant that young Pascal spent much of his youth being dragged to fashion shows where he was fussed over by models and designers. His father would often allow him to be dressed in flamboyant clothes and have his long flowing locks tended to by the many equally flamboyant stylists. However, one day tragedy struck when in a terrible accident with hair straighteners and excessive bleach caused Pascal to lose all his hair.
Subsequently he was shunned by the fashion world and forced to go and play with the rough kids on the tough streets of Lens. At first they didn't want to accept this snappily dressed dandy into their games of football but slowly Cygan integrated himself by saying he was happy to play in defence. Being the first child in the history of the world who wasn't just forced to play there because he wasn't much good.
His rise throught the youth system was meteoric and he was soon playing professional football, however he would often suffer massive losses in concentration when his mind would wander to thoughts of what Sarah Jessica Parker was wearing in the previous episode of Sex and the City.
Since leaving Arsenal he moved to Villareal who thought they could stop his flights of girlish fantasy. They were wrong.
Nowadays Pascal Cygan can most often be found sitting at home trying to design an outfit that will go with the premiership medal that he actually genuinely has. He has some good ideas, if only he could find a wig that would match the sequins.
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