Footballing Heroes: Steve Morrow

Steve Morrow was born in 1970 in Belfast and made his debut for Arsenal in 1992. He was used mainly as a midfielder for Arsenal but was equally inept as a centre back and a full back.
He was often compared to George Best not for his silky skills, not for his ability to consume alcohol and certainly not for his looks. Actually he was never compared to Best, he was just from the same country.
Very little is known about Morrow's past other than his parents claimed they were the rightful heirs to the throne of Ireland. Prince Steve, as he was known growing up, was heralded as the man to join the two seperate Irish nations together crossing religious divides and creating a glorious single country. This didn't happen for many reasons the least of which being Morrow's complete lack of trying.

His regal roots did open many doors for him and at the age of 17 he was confronted with the choice of becoming a footballer or becoming a world famous sword swallower. He chose the sword swallowing route. However in a bizarre incident involving one of a flaming sword he lost most of his hair. This being the main point of strength of any king Morrow decided he would give up his right to the throne and became a footballer instead.

Steve Morrow is most well known for breaking his arm after scoring a goal in the league cup final, just one of the many ways Tony Adams has shown his worth to the club.

After Bruce Rioch put everyone out of their misery and stopped playing Morrow he moved to QPR where he was an instrumental part of their decline.

However while the rest of the players cried at being relegated Steve Morrow danced around the room waving his Cup Winners Cup medal (that he actually really does have) and screaming "I am the Prince of Ireland! Bow down before me!"

The QPR players then battered him into unconciousness, stuck him in a suitcase and left him at Heathrow. He eventually resurfaced in Dallas where he remains recreating his fall from Tony Adams's shoulders, while wearing a crown and swallowing a sword. This daft act earned him the position of head coach of FC Dallas. Crazy Yanks.