The Glory Hunters: Favourite Players

Previously on The Glory Hunters: Clive Chives, a Man Utd 'fan' since 1999 and Tarquin, an Arsenal supporter who is looking elsewhere for glory meet every week in the Slug and Lettuce to sip beer and discuss football.
Clive: Hello Tarquin, what are you drinking this week?

Tarquin: I'll have a Hoegaarden please.

Clive: A what?

Tarquin: A Hoegaarden. I overheard a couple of my chummers at the golf club talking about it and thought I better give it a go so I can join in their chat next time.

Clive: Sound reasoning. Two Hoegaardens it is then.

Tarquin: So have you watched any footy ball this week?

Clive: Well I took Lord Paw-Paw, my poodle, out for a walk last week and he took a piddle by Dixons. So I caught a bit of the football on one of their display tellys. I couldn't believe my eyes, Ronaldo appears to have signed for Portugal.

Tarquin: So all the transfer rumours were true then?

Clive: There were transfer rumours?

Tarquin: You must be very upset.

Clive: I know, he was my favourite player. Now I'm going to have to learn another players name.

Tarquin: That is difficult for any footsy ball supporter like yourself. I had the same problem when Arsenal sold Thierra Onree.

Clive: What did you do about it?

Tarquin: I chose Sex Faberydab as my new favourite player.

Clive: Is he good then?

Tarquin: Oh yes. He's probably one of the best at footing the ball I've ever nearly seen on Match of the Day. I hope he signs for whoever I choose to support next.

Clive: Yes it is hard to support a team when your favourite player isn't part of the team. I nearly went to support Real Madrid after David Beckham left.

Tarquin: Ah David Beckham. If only he played for Arsenal. Then I'd never look for another team. Has Beckham been playing in that Europe 8 thingy?

Clive: I imagine so. I'm sure Spain or someone would have snapped him up for that tournament.

Tarquin: I imagine they would. This Hoegaarden is horrible! Do you think the Polish sort with the lovely bottom will put a bit of lemonade in it for me?

Clive: Any excuse to talk to the Polish sort eh? Top chummer! Can't say I blame you though, this Hoegaarden stuff is foul.