The Glory Hunters: Europe 8 Review

(First published on 606 in July 08)

This is the Evergreen Forest. Quiet, peaceful, serene. That is, until Bert Raccoon wakes up! No wait. Previously on The Glory Hunters: Clive Chives and Tarquin meet up on a weekly basis in the Slug and Lettuce to discuss football. Clive is a Man Utd 'fan' and Tarquin supported Arsenal but due to lack of success is looking for a new club. Clive is under the strange delusion that the Czech barmaid Karina fancies him. They have both just returned from their holidays.

Clive: Hello Tarquin my old chummer, how was the holiday?

Tarquin: Oh wonderful, I spent a week in Portugal. A lovely place, don't think they go in for the old ball of footy much though.

Clive: I can't think of any Portuguese players that's for sure. Spain, where I went, on the other hand has produced many great players. Ronaldo, Beckham...erm...that bloke from Fawlty Towers...

Karina: Hello, did I hear you went to Spain? The celebrations must have been incredible.

Clive: They were, I hit a hole in one on a par three dog-leg to the right. Sweetest shot of my life. I threw my nine iron so far in the air that I nearly killed a low flying seagull. Surprised you heard about it here though. I suppose I did phone all my chummers at the golf club to tell them about it. So, little lady, my polish lovely, do you like golf?

Karina: I am from Czech Republic. And no I don't like golf. I think it is a sport for men who cannot do sport. Do you want drinks?

Tarquin: Well I say! Clive and I are sportsmen of the highest order. Big football supporter-fans too. I support Ars...er...well...er...I'll have a bottle of Heineken please.

Clive: Heineken? What's that?

Tarquin: I had it on holiday I think it must be a Portuguese beer.

Clive: Make it two then. Still not found a club to support then?

Tarquin: No, after Holland dropped out of Europe 8 I've decided to take a bit more time before I choose my team. You can't be too careful.

Clive: You could always join me as a Man Utd fan.

Tarquin: But then how could we discuss whose team has the better players? Do you remember a couple of years back we had those brilliant chats over who was better Keade or Vieriarea?

Clive: Ah yes, those were the days my chummer. Those were the days.