Big Phil's Holiday

Arsenal's permanently worried looking polymath, Phillipe Senderos, is as we all know a serial diarist. The following is an excerpt from his time on a caravaning holiday with Alexander Hleb.

28th June: Today was the first day of our holiday to Devon. Just me, Alex and Clarabel my trusty caravan. Alex arrived at my house at 6 o'clock this morning so we could get an early start. I wanted to get out the road before there was too much traffic. It's been a while since I took Clarabel out so I was a little nervous. I was fine after a while though it just took me a bit of time to get my confidence up.

29th June: The problem with Clarabel is that she is only a 2 berth so Alex and I have to sleep rather close to each other. Boy does Alex dribble! Dribble, dribble, dribble. I'm beginning to think that's all he does.

30th June: There's not a lot to do on the caravan site so me and Alex went for a walk along the coast. Alex kept on going up these winding paths that led nowhere. Whereas I was all at sea for prolonged periods and without Kolo or William to rescue me. Then I lost Alex. I thought he'd gone to get ice cream but he insists he didn't.

1st July: Pinch, punch, first of the month. I decided not to pinch or punch Alex, I once did that to Robin Van Persie and he was in hospital for 6 weeks. Getting a bit bored in the caravan now. I tried to have a chat with Alex by asking him what his goals in life are. "Goals?" He replied. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

2nd July: We went to Torquay today. But Alex didn't like it. He said all the arcades and surf shops were to noisy for him. I found an old arcade game called Outrun. Alex told me that it was a good choice as I was always getting out run. I didn't get it.

3rd July: Had an argument with Alex. He said he never wanted to come to Devon in the first place. He thought we should have gone to Barcelona. I told him to sod off there if thats how he feels. And now he's gone off in a sulk. I don't know where he's gone. I can't make up my mind if I'd prefer him to come back or just go to Spain. Maybe I should phone Emmanuel Adebayor he's a man who can always make up his mind.