Big Phil's Chip Shop

(First posted on 606 on 12 June 08)

Tired of being the third choice centre back at Arsenal Swiss polylinguist Phillipe Senderos decides instead to turn to his first love: frying battered fish. Aided by his loyal sidekick Johann Djourou they get ready to open the shop to the public.

Phillipe: Johann! Why are you standing there? You'll never be able to serve the customers standing so close to the chip fryer. Your positionings all wrong.

Johann: But I'm quite nippy Phil. I'll be able to make up the ground trust me. How's the fish coming along?

Phillipe: Fantastic! At first I was a bit nervous but now I've battered a few cods I'm starting to feel more confident.

Johann: Oh that reminds me Kolo said he'd pop in a bit later. He said he's been battering fish for years and he'll be happy to help.

Phillipe: That'd be great. I just hope I don't lose my knack for it without the constant practice. Do you think we should've got more mushy peas?

Johann: I think we'll be fine. Anyway we're both young and only just starting out in the chip shop trade. I'm sure people will forgive us a few mistakes.

Phillipe: That's true. But I've heard this is a big chip-loving area. They're used to quality fish and chips. I just hope they're patient enough to let us develop and grow or we'll be plying our trade in Wigan or Birmingham in no time.

Johann: Birmingham? God no. I spent six months frying fish down there last year and didn't learn a thing. The way they fry fish in the sticks just doesn't cut it here in the big city.

Phillipe: Fret ye not Johann we'll be fine. Ooh no! I just dropped a haddock! Oh god it's all going wrong, we'll never be top quality chip shop owners! Woe is me!

Johann: It's just one haddock Phil, surely it's not the end of the world? Oh look here comes Kolo and William's with him. They'll sort us out.

Phillipe: Hooray! They're always there when I need them.