Richard Keys: Hello and welcome to another Sky Super Sunday. So super that it would even make Superman spaff in his pants. Now that's pretty cocking super, I'm sure you'll agree. With me today is football's favourite scion, Jamie Redknapp and Dutch legend, Ruud Gullit.
Redknapp: Literally hello.
Gullit: Awright me old mucker?
Keys: Marvellous. Today's game sees recently promoted Burnley palying the cocking awesome might of Chelsea. Can Burnley cause an upset Ruud?
Gullit: Nah bruv. Burnley have only got two 'opes. Bob and no. Hahaha. Bob 'Ope. D'ya get it?
Keys: Er yes Ruud. Marvellous. Erm...why are you talking like that, aren't you Dutch?
Gullit: Well bruv. I 'eard McClaren doing on all that 'yesh ishn't football schpectacular' nonsense and I realised that Dutch people saand stupid. So I got meself a voice coach and now I speak like a proper geezer, innit.
Redknapp: I agree with everything Ruud said.
Keys: So you don't think Burnley have a cocking hope in hell then, Jamie?
Redknapp: Well I wouldn't say that. I mean Burnley are a good team...
Gullit: No they aint.
Redknapp: That's true.
Gullit: You really are spineless intchya?
Redknapp: Yep.
Gullit: I serviced your wife last night. She loved it.
Redknapp: Well as long as she's happy.
Keys: Splendid. And now without further ado lets go to our match commentators, Martin Tyler
and Andy Gray.
Tyler: Thank you Richard. Well Andy it's a tough ask for Burnley. How do you see this match panning out?
Gray: Aye well it's pretty much pointless Burnley turning up if ye ask me Martin, which ye probably did, I cannae remember, nor do I care, ye wee english erse. Chelsea are a toap four team. And as we all know the toap four dinnae get beaten by the likes ay Burnley.
Tyler: They beat Man Utd.
Gray: Shut it, ye cont. Ah'm the voice ay fitba. Ye're just an erse and dinnae forget it.
Tyler: Sorry Andy. I think you should punish me.
Gray: What?! I'm no a fruit, ye ken?
Tyler: I could dress like a schoolgirl?
Gray: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Would ye wear a wig?
Tyler: Yep.
Gray: Aye...well...mebbe meet me at the usual place after The Final Word then.
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4 comments:
I think the Sky Super Sunday ones are some of your best JJG. Although the hilarity of the one with Eboue and Robbie Keane will always be hard to beat. Keep 'em coming!
I take it you won't be coming to my next stand up gig then Gross?
Well if its as funny as your team today I might give it a shot. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA
Man city destroyed you!!!! Almunia is a clown. Seeing as you support such a funny team to watch how comes you lack so much funny talent?
JJG this is legendary! When are you coming back to 606! Or are you already there? lol
P.s.
Gross get back on 606 we miss u 2 lol
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